Reflections on the Strangeness of Still Being Here
- a moment a month ago still haunts me
Barcelona - 3/19/19 sometime after 9 pm on 9th day of trip

Crossing Passeig de Sant Joan at the intersection of Carrer d'Ali Bei not far from the Arc de Triomf, I got halfway across the street to the center median and the strangest thing happened with the weirdest feeling and timing. The light was in favor of a pedestrian crossing and while crossing I noticed the Arc de Triomf all lit up and I decided to snap a photo. My intention was to take the photo quickly then continue hurrying across the rest of the street.

At photo snap time I neared the edge of the traffic lane with my attention focused to my left. A second later I half-turned to continue across the street. That's when the weird timing distortion occurred. In spite of my full intention to continue rushing across, I found myself unable to move as if I was suddenly out of time and timeless things couldn't interact with this reality with willful movement.

In that timeless space I noticed several things. First was shock - my will to move wasn't working. Second - my wife was nowhere in sight in the second half of the crosswalk as expected. Third - was blurred motion as several cars and a motorcycle sped through the intersection within inches of me. The light had changed in the traffic's favor as it raced towards the intersection. I would have been hit if I had taken one step forward. My wife was standing behind me off to my right side, having seen the pedestrian crossing time expire in the moments while I was busy being distracted. I felt extremely strange, like something surreal had just happened.

There is absolutely no reason why I should not have continued across as I fully intended - as I actually tried to do. At that moment I had no protective instinct, no intuition to pause, no sixth sense of survival nor need for caution. There is positively no good explanation why I didn't step into traffic that night.

For whatever reason, I'm still here because of strangeness in one crazy timeless moment on the Passeig de Sant Joan. Weird stuff like this can have one contemplating out-there possibilities - intercession by angelic forces, split timelines in the multiverse, a soul walk-in taking my place, borrowed time, or more likely, simple stupid luck within the cosmic giggle.

And funny enough, the photo I got for my trouble has a bus passing in front of the Arc at that moment, fully blocking the view to Parc de la Ciutadella. Maybe I just couldn't accept leaving here with this lousy photo being my last.