A TROUBLED YOUNG MAN

I know a troubled young man. He's a good guy but circumstances beyond his control have not been kind to him. He witnessed his parents being murdered during a home invasion attack and the trauma of that has remained with him. Left an orphan, he grew up with a family that didn't care about him. They never sought out professional help for the bitterness and resentment he held inside over the fact the man who murdered his parents was never caught, never got justice. There was plenty of circumstantial evidence pointing to the culprit, but not enough to affect any action by the authorities.

And so, over time, this young man's bitterness festered and became anger. Left to dwell on it as years passed, he determined to act in revenge. He would find the murderer and kill him. The young man reasoned that evil people like him didn't deserve to be in the world and killing him would be a heroic service to others, most certainly preventing other such crimes and the follow-on heartache they cause, exactly as what he had suffered. The young man shared his plan with two of his friends. And now they had a decision to make. He wanted them to help him find the murderer but they knew that wasn't the kind of help he needed.

They convinced him to speak with someone they knew, a counselor, who saw clearly the self-destructive path he was on. The counselor explained to him how he was being tortured by past events he couldn't change. Far from going deeper into them, he needed to heal from it and let it go. Of course he had suffered a trauma and his feelings were valid but the way he harbored them over the years, the way he let them amplify and take hold of his emotions and reason was pathological. If he acted out on his negative obsession driven by post-traumatic stress, if he drove forward into his revenge plan, far from being the hero confronting the malevolence in the world, he would only find the rest of his life and his peace of mind destroyed.

The counselor's prescription was studied but textbook. He needed to find forgiveness in his heart in a way he could move past the hurt and recapture his life going forward productively. All of his bitterness and resentment, hatred and a desire for revenge would not bring back his parents. Out of despair, he would only pull his life apart and even the revenge, if successful, would give him no rest. Afterwards he would find the act hollow for his parents would still be dead and once again he would confront a deepening despair in not being able to change the past. The only healthy way forward was to validate his feelings but proceed with forgiveness and a maturity in knowing that some things once done cannot be changed. Forgive, heal, and let go of the past. That was the only way to secure a positive promise for his future.

It took many sessions but in time the young man came around. There were many tears, much shouting at times, but he slowly learned to integrate the shadow emotions that had gripped him for so long. He surrendered to a healing, giving into what the counselor suggested, thereby finding a way forward without the hurt that had controlled his life.

And to this day, as a result, Lord Voldemort lives.

The Goddess and Cerastes

After the affair, the goddess was conflicted

with mixed feelings about her past lover, Cerastes.

She sought out Chista, the goddess of wisdom and knowledge, 

the one who leads mortals to the right way.

"What do you wish to know, my child?" asked Chista.

The Goddess gushed, "Was I truly loved or was I only his conquest?"

Chista looked surprised, "You don't know?"

"No!" exclaimed the Goddess. "I remember both good times and bad times."

Chista nodded her understanding, "Yes and one cannot know another's heart for sure."

"But I must know!" the Goddess cried out. "Was there love or was I only his conquest?"

"Oh my dear, you can answer that for yourself," Chista started.

"How?!"

"Simple. A conquest has three stages. Before, during, and after."

The Goddess was impatient with Chista's silence, "So, what about these stages?"

Chista offered a compassionate smile, "Think about your memories, the good times and the bad times. 

If it was a conquest, the good times were before and during - not after."

"But they were good times!"

"Yes, without which there could not have been a conquest."

"Then what's the difference with love?"

Chista emphasized the point, "If it was love, your good memories would include after in equal proportion."

The Goddess sighed and shook her head, "That's confusing. Of course there are no good memories after it's over and he's gone."

Chista explained, "The 'after' I speak of is after the conquest, not after it's over."

"But there were also good times after I gave in to him."

"Yes, it can be like that," agreed Chista. "But that's not after the conquest. That is still during."

"I don't understand!" sighed the Goddess.

Chista paused and let her silence create an expectancy in the Goddess. 

Finally, Chista added, "During includes the time during which he enjoys his conquest. As long as that lasts."

Once again, the Goddess shook her head in confusion, "But no one would stay if there wasn't enjoyment."

Chista nodded, "And yet, in a conquest, his ongoing enjoyment of having you can't compare to that one moment of maximum enjoyment when he finally wins what is so intensely desired. And along with the enjoyment of having there are often other reasons for staying. He may stay to be tended to and waited on and cared for by you but the memories you have of this will not be so good, they'll be different - because after the conquest, he is different. Having had the maximum enjoyment of the conquest, and with the continuation of having you assured, he relaxes from pretense, becoming more his true self, which is not as deferential and loving to you as before. After a conquest, increasingly you do not recognize the person he becomes as he reverts to what he always was but couldn't show you if he wanted to achieve his goal. Bad memories begin with this disparity."

The Goddess held her breath, "And love - from now on, how will I recognize it?"

Chista locked gazes with the Goddess, "We need to be love's conquest, not each other's conquest. When we're the conquest of love, both lovers are the same with each other - before, during, and after being overwhelmed by love's conquest."
"But I cannot know if this is true at the beginning with someone!"
Once again, Chista nodded, "And that's why all who manage to be conquered by love - are also wounded along the way to it."

WISEACREAGE


There is no shortage of wisdom in the world. Clever quotes and aphorisms are everywhere to be found. Sage advice is only a social network visit away
and gurus, teachers, counselors and life coaches abound.

Never before in human history has so much insight and understanding, so many life-changing methods and seminars and prescriptions for action, been so readily available and promulgated by so many. Never before have so many been so sure of the truth and the proper way to it.

Awash in all this insight and shrewd discernment, one might think human society has finally arrived at some long-sought pinnacle, some lofty state of soundness, foresight, and moral acuity that generations past only yearned for but never achieved.

But that inference would not be wise.
Apparently, wisdom does not change us,
will not save us, and does not effectively sink in
no matter how much we're awash in it.

So what does sink in?
To say would just be offering more wisdom.

the never mind

never mind the truth processed by the eye
  and all the beauty washing out to sea
my falling stars are nothing like a sigh
  as much as who we were would like it to be

your ocean never really meets the sky
  and what we offer is neither you, neither me
never mind the hope of lives we knew
  we simply know a truth that cannot be

who floats away and who remains
  in particle days in a time of waves?
answers struggle against their chains
  and we, we love
    like a child who misbehaves

want to change?

pass through these four gates -

unconscious incompetence

conscious incompetence

conscious competence

unconscious competence

on either end of change, we're unconscious

only during change are we conscious

consciousness is the act of changing

j u r i s p r u d e n c e

i don't know if it's right, but it's true
i don't know if it's true, but it's verifiable
i don't know if it's verifiable, but it's correct
i don't know if it's correct, but it's certain
i don't know if it's certain, but it's definite
i don't know if it's definite, but it's implied
i don't know if it's implied, but it's self-evident
i don't know if it's self-evident, but it goes without saying
i don't know if it goes without saying, but it's accepted as such
i don't know if it's accepted as such, but it's circumstantial
i don't know if it's circumstantial, but it warrants review
i don't know if it warrants review, but it bears testimony to the facts
i don't know if it bears testimony to the facts, but it can be concluded
i don't know if it can be concluded, but it's worth noting
i don't know if it's worth noting, but it's enough in lieu of opposition

Ego Death Oxymoron

what if
the idea of a separate ego
blocking progress to enlightenment
is an illusion

there may or may not be an ego
but if there is
it's not separate and cannot die
and yet no one can be told this is so
when everyone is thoroughly indoctrinated
to believe the separate ego is real

to think this separate ego can be overcome
by a decision centered in the ego
(for where else does the decision come from?)
is evidence enough that enlightenment
for the separate ego believers
recedes from their grasp
with each ego attempt
to encounter and kill off
their ego

Sometimes we don't want to heal
because the pain is the last link
to what we've lost.

THE GIFT OF LONGING
The Gift of Longing from Oneness of Life on Vimeo.

longing is the feminine mystical side of love
it draws you, guides you on intuitive paths
it opens to you, it's receptive, it's the empty cup
it presents more of a question than an answer
it seeks, it yearns rather than asserts
it's uncertain in an open space without boundaries
so much so that it frightens us as it draws us in
it frightens the mind --
allow the longing to unfold
and it leads to unknown places
the more we surrender to longing
the more unknown we will encounter
to live within this mystery is magnetic
but is often misunderstood as a lack, a fault,
or a need to find balance
but the longing of the heart is not a desire
to fill an empty space - rather, it is waiting,
and the wait is a gift that confers upon us enormous power,
a power to be open at our core
and let the magnetic pull draw us, guide us forward
for the longing leads us home
longing awakens us to our spiritual quest
and nourishes us on the path
but what it reflects in our hearts is that
we are the ones who are longed for
and there comes a pain with longing,
sometime called the "sweet pain of love"
and yet there's a quality in suffering
that helps us transform,
it's a quality we need
and it's important we allow for it
the pain we feel in longing is the pain of separation
this is one way longing guides us home
longing is not a deficit, it is a good sign
because it shows us the heart remembers,
the heart has a remembrance of true love,
longing is the call back to union
longing embodies the feminine qualities of
waiting, listening, receiving,
along with the dynamic and passionate longing
for what is waiting to be given
when we don't have answers and don't fill the space,
when we keep this space empty,
then something can pour in
this is not only about women, this is about the feminine
and the longing in women and men alike

Paraphrased summary from the event “Feminine Mysticism” in July 2012 with Angela Fischer.

“The mystery of the divine feminine speaks to us from within her creation. She is not a distant god in heaven, but a presence that is here with us, needing our response. She is the divine returning to claim her creation, the real wonder of what it means to be alive. We have forgotten her, just as we have forgotten so much of what is sacred, and yet she is always part of us. But now she needs to be known again, not just as a myth, as a spiritual image, but as something that belongs to the blood and the breath. She can awaken us to an expectancy in the air, to an ancient memory coming alive in a new way. She can help us to give birth to the divine that is within us, to the oneness that is all around us. She can help us to remember our real nature.”

—Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

THE VALLEY OF THE DRAGON - A Parable

You must cross the Valley of the Dragon.
This is the journey of your life, a passage you must take to be alive.
To prepare, you visit a local wizard who gives you a magic dragon-gun.
This gun is specially crafted to disappear the dragon with a single shot.
As you leave for the valley to begin your crossing the wizard warns
-- be aware, the gun works 99% of the time.

You leave the wizard horrified by the 1% vulnerability.
What if you face your dragon and the gun doesn't work?
You go to a much older and more powerful wizard,
You tell him you must cross the Valley of the Dragon
and you need something you can count on to make the dragon disappear.
This new wizard produces his version of the dragon-gun.
He assures you - this gun always works,
one shot and any-sized dragon will disappear.

Bolstered by your preparation but still anxious for the journey ahead,
once again you head out to begin your arduous crossing.
As you near the entrance to the Valley of the Dragon
a vagabond sitting under a tree notices you and calls out,
"I see you've got dragon-guns."
"Yes, the old wizard assures me this one always works."
"That's right," agrees the vagabond with a grin. "So you're good at fighting an invisible dragon?"
"Invisible?"
"Why yes, that thing disappears the dragon."
Shocked, you exclaim, "I thought it killed it!"
The vagabond laughs, "What do you think disappear means? Besides, don't you know, that hero myth about slaying the dragon is a fantasy. There's no such thing in the real valley of life."
"It can't be!  I have to cross the valley!"
"Of course, and there's only one way to handle a dragon," the vagabond asserts. "You can't kill your dragon. You can only tame him, integrate him."
Perplexed, you stand with dragon-guns hanging limply at your side, "How do I do that?"
The vagabond produces a tiny bottle made of darkened glass from his pocket, "I have a potion."
"You? You're not a wizard."
The vagabond's face shifts serious and dark, "And I don't have dragon-guns..."
You check your pockets, "I spent all my money on the dragon-guns."
"Oh, I don't want money - just your word that when you reach the other side of the valley, you'll tell everyone that my potion got you there."
"I can do that. How do I use the potion?"
The vagabond hands over the bottle. "Simple. When the dragon is about to consume you, drink all of this and you will consume the dragon. It will then be a part of you and can't chase you anymore."
"Part of me! But I don't want to be a dragon!"
The vagabond shakes his head, "How in the hell do you think little you can survive in the valley? You better have some dragon in you. Sooner or later, everyone has to if they want to get across. Become your dragon!"
"That can't be right!" you shout back at him. "We fight dragons, we don't become them!"
The vagabond shrugs, "Suit yourself." Then he hands the little bottle out for the taking. "Why don't you take this, anyway - just in case."
You start to walk off but hesitate. Taking it doesn't mean you have to use it. Besides, you might be able to barter it for something else along the way. You accept the little bottle and walk off without saying another word to the vagabond under the tree.

Farther down the road you come to a curving footbridge. To one side a grizzled man fiddles with a fishing line as he leans back on a boat. He notices you heading for the bridge and shouts out a warning, "I wouldn't cross that if I were you. It's not safe."
You come to a halt a step before the bridge, "What's wrong with it?"
"It's never been safe."
"Why would anyone build it that way?"
"I guess somebody doesn't want you to get to the other side."
"But the Valley of the Dragon is over there. I need to cross to start my journey."
"I'm a boatman. I can take you across."
"What's in it for you?"
The boatman swings a thumb at the river, "I'm lazy and I've got a net to pull up. Pull it up for me, I'll take you across."
You change direction, "It's a deal."
The boat is an old rowboat but it's watertight. Halfway across the river, the boatman points at a buoy cap, "There's the marker. Start pulling."
You pull the net up. It doesn't take long. Inside the webbing is a treasure trove of little devices and bottles. You complete the task but your interest is piqued, "What is all this stuff?"
The boatman stares, dismayed, "Hope and a prayer."
Shifting the haul with a foot, you spy familiar objects, "There's dragon-guns in here!"
The boatman nods, "Along with scorpion repellant, magic ropes for quicksand, tiger bombs, protection potions, snake glue, knives to cut strangling vines, so much more, you name it, you'll find it."
You stand, mouth agape, "I don't understand."
The boatman spits overboard, "That's a shame, 'cause you need to cross that valley."
You put 2+2 together, "There's more than a dragon in the valley!"
"Much more. And where did you get the idea there's only ONE dragon? You've got lots of dragons waiting for you. Along with other things."
The news is crushing. You sit down, shocked.
Fulfilling his end of the bargain, the boatman continues to cross the river. He looks back on you, "I get it. You were always told you had to go fight the dragon, be your own hero to make it across the valley. And believe me, that isn't wrong. It's just not the whole story. As they say, the Devil's in the details."
Like some amnesiac, you can't pull your eyes from the objects in the net. As you do, more naivete falls from your eyes, "You lied to me. There's nothing wrong with the bridge."
The boatman shrugs, "Either way you get across. But this way I get my net pulled up."
The confession was easy. You move on to more important matters, "Other people have come this way."
"Countless."
"If what you say is true, if there are many dangers in the valley, then why would so many throw all of this away? This was their protection!"
"Yes. Listen, I'll save you some time - if you collect all the things you need to protect yourself, you won't be able to carry it all. No way. Impossible. One by one they all realized this and let go - they let go of it all."
Your eyes widen, "But what happened to them?"
The boat slid ashore on the opposite bank and came to rest, "We're here. You're across, just like I promised."
"You didn't answer me. What happened to them?"
The boatman points towards a dark patch in the treeline, "The Valley of the Dragon path starts right over there."
You approach the boatman, "What happened to them?!"
First a hesitation, then an answer comes, "Just what you'd expect. Some gave up, didn't make the journey, never had a full life. Others stayed at the river, making a living off those who came to try the journey. And others tried and didn't make it."
You shoot a glance at that dark patch in the treeline, "Does anyone make it?"
"Some don't come back - but does that prove they made it? Don't know."
"But you must know - there must be a way to make a safe passage, to get across."
The boatman grins, "I don't KNOW anything. But I've heard things."
"Heard what?"
"There's a rumor there's one magic, it's always right and knows the safe way through. It's the only and best chance of getting across with any success."
"What is it? A magic wand?"
"No, it's nothing you have to carry. It's simply your intuition."
"Intuition? Ridiculous."
"Maybe. I thought so, but I've seen some people toss these objects over the side of the bridge then head out with only that magic."
"And they didn't come back?"
The boatman shakes his head.
"But that doesn't prove anything you said. No one knows why they didn't come back. They could have been eaten!"
"That's right, but I suspect from what I've seen that the rumor might have some truth about it. I've seen it work on my side of the river. It's some kind of magic that's always right and knows the way through."
"Sounds too magical."
The boatman laughs, "Says the man carrying a dragon-gun and dark-bottle potion."
"Sounds too simple."
"Is the truth complicated? Who knows?" The boatman turned back to his net. "You can have anything in that net to take with you, go ahead, take it, but you're not going to be able to carry it all. And even if you could, how do you know that covers all the dangers out there? There's no complete catalog of dangers, no way to know what you don't know. The only thing you can use against the things you don't know yet is the magic of intuition."
"I don't know..."
The boatman shifts, restless, "Suit yourself. You're on the other side. I need to get back. Make up your mind. Going forward or do you want me to take you back?"
You pause with your life on the line. You can't fathom the failure of going back but you can't abide the prospects ahead. In an act of sheer surrender and abandon you step out of the boat. "I'm going forward."
The boatman sports a face brightened by surprise, "What convinced you?"
You take a deep breath, "I guess - intuition."
Nodding, the boatman shoves off from shore, "Good luck."
You turn away and head towards the dark patch in the treeline.
From behind, the boatman calls out, "Hey! One thing I forgot to tell you..."
You stop and turn. Funneling his hands around his mouth, the boatman calls out from a distance, "It's about intuition. It's always right and it knows the way - but there's one catch."
You freeze in anticipation, "What is it?"
From a farther distance the boatman's voice bellows as it fades, "You won't always listen to it!"