Sunday, April 16, 2017

Soulular Renewal Overwhelms My Human Gadget

Two ceremonies - one journey.
What I'm about to relate is the second half of one plant medicine journey. The first part occurred a week before the second ceremony and is documented in Inhuman Transformations of My Soulular Machine.


The first part of the journey was with Mother Ayahuasca, Rapé, and liquid tobacco. The second part was with Grandfather Huachuma (San Pedro). Although the second experience included only San Pedro, the journey turned out to be an overpowering continuation of what Mother Ayahuasca had started with me.

face to face with myself

The skies said it would be stormy. Little did I know when I boarded the bus in Cuenca how prophetic those skies would be. Santa Isabel is where the ceremony space was. It's an hour's ride southwest of where I live. Just before climbing the hill into the main part of town, the bus stopped to let my wife and I off in what looked like the middle of nowhere in the countryside. Intercity buses in Ecuador will stop anywhere to take-on or let off passengers. There are regular stops for sure but where we asked to get off was a non-descript spot identified only by a small hand-written sign hung on a fence.

Nearby, through a tall gate and up an obstacle course of broken concrete steps rested a two-story country home with front porch and back patio and a pair of friendly dogs to greet visitors. One of those dogs was Squiggles, an old friend from other ceremonies in Vilcabamba. We were greeted warmly by the ceremony facilitator and his very capable apprentice and shown around the space. We were introduced to a wonderful woman from Sweden who'd be joining us. Two other participants hadn't yet arrived. My wife and I settled in and enjoyed the conversations.

In time, a good friend from Cuenca arrived as did a friend of the facilitator. It was the day of the Pink Full Moon and so we were drinking at one in the afternoon, guaranteeing that our experience would take us into the night and hopefully in view of the brilliant moon. With the recent storminess in the area, it was anyone's guess if the cloud cover would part for us to have the full moon in view later that evening. We gathered outside in a circle to share a prayer, express our intentions, and receive our glasses of Grandfather Huachuma. The facilitator also had a portion so he'd be in the medicine space with us and could better interpret where we were during our journey and what we needed.

As brief as it was, I shared my intention for my upcoming conversation with San Pedro. I simply wanted more clarity and perspective on the Ayahuasca ceremony I had attended one week before. As expected, the meeting with Mother Ayahuasca had been intense, but it left me feeling I had a couple unresolved dilemmas. If there was more insight that San Pedro could shed on what I had experienced, I would sincerely like to discuss it.

It didn't take long for the circle to dissolve as everyone dispersed to find their spot on the property from which to journey. It usually took a little while before San Pedro showed up in force so my good friend and I found a comfortable spot on the front porch to sit and talk. The facilitator joined us for a while and everything was muy tranquilo.  There came a moment, though, for both my friend and I when our spirits were leaving the conversation. We were being called to begin our day in earnest. We parted with good wishes for each other and I strolled to the back of the house, off the patio and around to the far exterior side of the house.

It appears very odd when I'm not in the medicine, but it's become a habit with San Pedro that when deep journeying for me is about to begin, I am called to find the most uncomfortable spot outside and encouraged to lay down there. It never fails, once I heed the call and go to that spot, I lay down and soon a remarkable comfort overcomes me. When I feel the comfort settle in I know the deeper ride is beginning. This process usually takes a while. Most times, I don't feel the pull to find my uncomfortable spot until an hour or two into the ceremony. So you can imagine my surprise when I felt a strong pull to do this not long after initially drinking the brew. This signaled to me a need and invitation to go deep very soon in my day. This was highly unusual but I paid attention to the call and found a nice hard ledge, a stone and tile walkway on the far side of the house to lie down on. That was sure to be uncomfortable. And yes, it was just right. I lay on my right side and let my sideways view of the yard and the neighbor's fields and house in distance fill my gaze.

And another highly unusual thing happened - or didn't happen. Without fail, in every San Pedro ceremony I've attended, I can rely on one thing to signal the medicine is working through my system and soon my journey will begin. That one thing is feeling a series of small muscle spasms in my leg muscles. When I feel those small, involuntary twitches in my legs, I know it won't be long before San Pedro arrives. And so it was doubly odd that I should be called to my uncomfortable spot without ever feeling a single muscle twinge. Not one. How could San Pedro be showing up without the telltale signs? How could I be preparing to go deep when the most preliminary sign of the medicine taking effect hasn't shown up yet?


Santa Isabel

It didn't take long for my eyes to close. When they did, I felt a rush of movement as if I was being transported in all directions at once. How can this be I thought? The answer came right away. The only way to move in all directions at once is to simply expand. This expansion of spirit soon encountered Grandfather Huachuma. He focused immediately on my intention. He knew how I felt and understood my need for deeper perspective and clarification on my Ayahuasca journey. Then, like a Father calling to Mother, he told Mother what I wanted and suggested she was the best one to handle this. From that moment on, Father stepped back and let Mother take over my expansion completely. The feeling within me morphed in a flash from tranquilo to energized, engaged, and erupting with explorations of me. This was no longer a San Pedro ceremony. I was back with Mother Ayahuasca and she was determined to give me the clarity I asked for - just not in a way I was prepared for.

She started by slamming me back into the previous ceremony space where I had been re-engineered into a transhuman machine that seemed condemned to endlessly analyze and strategize. I was shown how a need for strategy came from fear - and fear came from a lack of trust. Every situation in life, every person I encountered, had to be analyzed by the machine called Me. Worse yet, half of me hated doing this while the other half loved it. Half of me could stop analyzing only to have the other half strategize how to keep it going. And so the dilemma.


Then she made me the machine again. She plugged me into full power, maximum resources, machine intelligence capabilities and led me into the frame of mind where I loved being plugged in, loved being the machine. Once she got me there, loving it, she turned the machine around on me.  She told me - 
THIS IS YOU. YOU ARE A MACHINE. 
BUT WHY ONLY ANALYZE THE WORLD AND OTHERS WITH THIS POWER?  
TURN THE MACHINE AROUND. 
POINT THE MACHINE INWARD. 
USE IT TO ANALYZE YOU!

In an instant, all the processing power marshaled in my previous ceremony set to work taking apart every action and thought I had ever had in my life. Every part of who I was, who I had been, what I had done, my motivations, my inner thoughts, my secrets kept from others, my secrets kept from myself, my inner fears, my aspirations, my doubts, my motivations -- all were handed over to a hungry algorithm to be dissected.  Billions of moments, thoughts, feelings from my life got processed through the machine. But the machine didn't stop there.
The processing netted determinations.
The determinations were evaluated.
The evaluations were examined and trend analyses were mapped out.
The maps of the search spaces revealed patterns.
The patterns were studied for unconscious implications.
The implications fed into behavior modeling scenarios.
The scenarios were compared with all experiences from my past.
The correlations were projected into the future.
The projections were laid bare before me in the glaring light of absolute analytical certainty.
 

In reaction, I was shot through and through with intense nausea.
I was extremely uncomfortable. This was all wrong.
I protested - this machine didn't know me at all. That's not all I was!
I was more than a sum total of actions, thoughts, feelings interpreted and correlated.
The machine might think it knew everything about me -- but it was missing the point,
getting lost in details. I was so much more than a reductionist accounting of facts and figures.
 

Mother asked, YOU DON'T LIKE THIS?
I wanted so much to purge but found I couldn't. She wouldn't let me.
She continued, THIS IS WHAT THE MACHINE DOES TO LIFE!
HOW DO YOU THINK LIFE FEELS ABOUT THAT?
YOU THINK THE MACHINE UNDERSTANDS LIFE?
YOU DO THIS ALL THE TIME.
IF THE MACHINE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND YOU,
WHY DO YOU THINK IT UNDERSTANDS LIFE?

I rolled to the edge of the hard walkway ledge and tried to purge. Nothing.
Mother added, YOU DON'T LIKE THIS DONE TO YOU?
DON'T DO IT TO LIFE.  DON'T DO IT TO OTHERS.


I felt like I had descended into a machine intelligence version of ancient Egypt's Hall of Two Truths, where in the Duat the hearts of the dead were weighed against a single feather. If the heart was lighter or equal weight to the feather, the soul was judged virtuous and was saved. If the heart was heavier, salvation was denied. I wanted to purge out any extra weight but I was not allowed to purge. I had turned my machine upon myself and judged myself in the same way I had judged life and the world I knew. It made no difference how much I protested. I argued that none of this analysis truly knew me. I was more than all of that. Mother only threw it back at me.
YOU USE THIS MACHINE ON LIFE, ON OTHERS. 
WHY NOT USE IT ON YOURSELF?


Then she shifted tone. There was anticipation and revelation in her voice.
YOU THINK THE MACHINE IS SO POWERFUL?
YOU WANT TO FEEL REAL POWER?
THE POWER OF LIFE?
THE POWER OF NATURE?


In an instant, I was jerked off my hard perch and slammed into the grass and dirt two feet below. My head was forced to the dirt and my hands forced to open. I didn't want to open my hands. To open my hands felt like the worse kind of vulnerability. Anything but that.
I tried to clench my fists and hide them near by chest and armpits
but a power overtook me and forced my arms to reach out to the dirt.
My hands spread open against my will and something ground my palms firmly into the dirt.


Over and over my open palms were compelled to feel the earth, to press into it. I shivered at the most vulnerable intrusion. It felt like my most vulnerable spot, my most intimate protective space was being pried open and accessed. And then Mother announced...

FEEL THE POWER OF NATURE!

What happened next is indescribably intense. A massive discharge from above me passed into my body, down my arms, and out my hands into the earth. This was not mere sky lightning. This was energy from a source that empowered nature itself. My whole body felt electrified with a force that blew electricity away. It was soulular energy, life energy, nature's own energy. It made machine energy pale like a toy hand buzzer in comparison. 


The force of it was overwhelming. I gasped in a vain attempt to handle the load. I quivered and squirmed in the dirt and grass. It was the unstoppable force. It was source energy focused into a beam. It was using my body and hands to couple itself to the earth. I felt the discharge of it was powerful enough to be felt earthwide. This force went beyond the concept of power. There was no categorizing it. This was the ultimate authority. It simply was. 

the power of nature's source

The slamming intensity of it pinned me to the ground. My most vulnerable palms had not only been opened, not only been pressed into the moist earth, but they were being used as a conduit for the dominant might of spirit fire itself. There was something needed in forcing my vulnerability open. There was unknown intent in compelling me to move past such fierce feelings of violation. There was an area in the center of my palm, about the size of a quarter or fifty cent piece, that screamed out not to be touched, not to be used, not to be helplessly opened this way. As much as I didn't want it, as much as I thought I couldn't stand it, this force was going to burn that vulnerability, that reticence out of me. I felt how true power was not for analysis. It was for healing. 

I felt my vulnerability was somehow being healed. The stream of cosmic power-arcs flowing through me were not only blowing away my concept of machine power, it was handling something deeper in me, something that I kept even from myself. Why did I want to clench my fists and hide my hands from this force? Why did opening my hands feel like opening my underbelly to the wolves? Why was grinding that circle of vulnerability into the dirt so cathartic? Why did the massive discharge going through me feel like it was overpowering that spot with a deeper purpose? The more I was forced to grind my open palms into the dirt, the more the discharge connected me to the earth. The more I felt that connection to the earth, the more the vulnerability in my hands dissipated.

But I was having trouble catching my breath. My heart rate was maxing out. I gasped for air and thought my body wouldn't be able to take much more. With all my might I struggled to pull myself up onto hands and knees. I wanted to sit up and draw in deeper breaths, try to recover. The discharge from the sky eased off a bit and I managed to sit up. But I felt different. I was transforming. It was nothing like the transhuman machine transformation in the ceremony a week before. Instead of trillions of nanoparasites re-coding each of my cells, a more fundamental change was starting to take place. I felt it but couldn't describe it yet.

As I sat there, heaving air in and out of my lungs, I felt vestiges of the old vulnerability creeping back into my hands. Instinctively in protective mode, I started to clench my fists again. Once again I began to feel the urge to cross my arms and bury my clenched fists into my armpits for protection. As soon as I made a move to do that, I was convulsed forward with a discharge through me. I was thrown back down into the dirt. Again the power rushed through me. Again my hands were forced open. Against my will, my open palms pressed into the moist dirt with all my might. I twisted my hands back and forth with maximum force, grinding my palms down as if to push the earth away. Instead, the energy stream welded me to the earth. Like a single object, the energy, me, and the earth joined. With quivering intensity I felt the energy sear more of the vulnerability out of my hands.


energy through hands
The Machine Processes the Downloaded Energy

Overwhelmed and out of breath, I struggled back to a sitting position on the dirt. This time I even managed to climb up to a sitting position on the tile and concrete ledge above the dirt. But once I got there, I didn't think I could maintain myself. The energy had electrified every cell in my body. I felt light-headed. I felt like a 110 volt household circuit that just had the 765,000 volts of long distance transmission lines run through it. And worse of all, I felt echos of the vulnerability seeping back into my hands. I knew what that meant. I expected the power surge to hit me at any moment. Instead, a different kind of surge rippled through me. It was my transformation entering another phase of completion. The power of nature had another way of dispelling that vulnerability.

Mother Ayahuasca shouted out -
TAKE IT IN -- FEEL REAL POWER!
THE POWER OF LIFE!
THE POWER OF NATURE!
THE POWER OF LOVE!

While still seated, the surge straightened my arms out and pointed them towards the ground. It continued to zap my arms and force my fists open. But when my fists opened, my fingers pointed down in an unusual cupped way. Then I felt a spirit join the energy burst rushing into me. I didn't know what it was but the spirit wanted to connect to the earth and use me to do it. 

I dropped to the dirt and found myself pressing my open palms as an energy burst shot through me. This time my legs and feet joined in for the first time, clawing at the ground. As the discharge continued, I finally got a sense of my transformation. The energy moving through me, animating my hands, arms, legs, and feet was all encompassing puma energy. I felt I was shape-shifting into a puma.

puma stare


As a puma, I could feel a complete connection to earth, without hesitation, without reservation, without any vulnerability in my hands. It was nature in its rawest, purest form, without reservations or machine-like vulnerabilities. There was no helplessness in my hands because I no longer had hands. I now possessed the large anchoring force of grounding puma paws. Where in the first ceremony I had transformed into the machine, now I experienced how the force of nature transformed me. In the first ceremony I felt what it was like to be an all-powerful machine. Now I was nature's puma and connected to the spirit and energy of creation itself. I was made to feel how there was nothing more all powerful and never could be.

puma headdress


As puma, I didn't need to go into the feeling of connecting to earth -- I WAS connected. I anchored my paws in the dirt with a fierce passion that was nothing less than the conscious expression of nature's energy. As puma, I wasn't feeling the energy of life go through me -- I WAS the energy of life. The oneness with nature's energy and the living earth spun my human mind and machine-like impulses out of conscious orbit. I was laying on the ground but my horizontal view suddenly appeared vertical. The human and machine in me clung to the sheer vertical face of the earth, desperate not to fall off, while the puma in me felt no disorientation.

hands rewired
Nature Processes the Downloaded Energy

It felt like being puma had rewired my hands. The way they processed energy was no longer machine-like, but natural. I felt a tremendous flow between sky and earth through me and my hands now felt a part of it instead of being an unwilling channel for it. Whatever was the deeply hidden source of my violation vulnerability had been burned out of me by the overpowering discharge and the feeling of becoming puma. I might never know what that was but Mother Ayahuasca had found it and ground it into the fertile dirt where a new spirit in me had sprung forth.

puma hands

I had convulsed on the ground for several hours as nature's energy zapped through me. Repeatedly I had struggled to my knees and a sitting position only to be slammed down again by the force of the discharges from above. In the last hour, it started to drizzle. That only made the pressing of my palms - my paws that much more earthy. But darkness was starting to fall. And where one lesson, one healing was ending, another was just beginning.

As I lay there stunned and blasted beyond the ability to cope, light faded. Night was but half an hour away and something was near me. To my horror I sensed the swirling presence I couldn't see was the same dark entity from a year and a half before. How could this be happening? There were no dark entities a week ago at the Ayahuasca ceremony. Why should they appear now? Was the prospect of night enough to coax them out of unresolved fear? I jumped up and sat on the edge of the hard concrete and tile walkway and repeated to myself forcefully -- They Exist and They Don't Exist!

I got up and walked closer to the back patio. I was too much in the medicine and the aftermath of what I had experienced to relate to other ceremony participants but I desperately needed to get away from the dark entities. I wound up sitting on the patio and someone thoughtfully brought me hot tea and then a bowl of fruit salad. I thought the combination might help ground me to the moment and bring proper perspective back but instead, it seemed only to provide a "bump" to revitalize my deepening experience with the medicine. My wife, who hadn't taken any medicine, appeared on the patio to see how I was doing. I asked her to hold my hand - I needed to connect with love.

It was night now and I laid down on a mat on the edge of the patio until Squiggles the dog came to get me up. Squiggles seems to have an uncanny connection to the medicine, having taken it several times herself. She seems to be the messenger of San Pedro at times, getting you up or interrupting a difficult moment when you most need it.

I got up and walked more into darkness behind the patio. I wanted to see the sky, perhaps see the Pink Full Moon, but clouds were obscuring everything. I had the impulse to walk farther back into the darkness and I started that way but then something held me back, warning me not to go. I shifted my stroll to another section of the backyard. At one point I was faced with a small stone stairway leading up to who knows where. Once again I had an impulse to climb the stairs to see a different vantage point. I got halfway up the stairs when once again something held me back, warning me not to go. 


don't go that way

For the next hour, Mother Ayahuasca played with my head. I thought I had dealt with the dark entities and reasoned my way into not fearing them, but then why wouldn't I go into the dark or climb the stairs? She wound a complex thread, showing me where me as the machine ended up. Where was the ultimate outlet for me as the machine -- who would I become? She shot me into the maloca a year and a half ago and transformed me into one of the dark entities. That was my machine. They were right when they said - You created this!

Then she wove a complex tale on how the dark and light came from the same energy, two sides of the same coin. She explained how as soon as we made anything sacred, we automatically created the profane. The more we sanctified something, the greater the abominations we created out of it. It was the great game, the grand play in which we all had a part. But behind the scenes, the good guy and bad guy were friends and laughed at how well they appeared as opposites. 

She even went so far as to say the energy of the machine and the energy of nature stemmed from the same source. They were merely directed at different purposes. She went too far when she suggested that the "power of nature" I felt go through me today was the same energy of the dark entities, the same force that energized the machine. Energy was energy - there was only one energy.

I couldn't accept this. I had felt something completely authentic and good, something powerfully spiritual just a little earlier. That same power of life and love in no way could also power the machine and the dark entities. That couldn't be! When she had me at the critical moment of despair, she revealed her design in taking me down this path --

YOU SEE, THE DRAMA NEVER STOPS.
I CAN MAKE THE STORY MORE COMPLICATED IF YOU WANT.
I COULD EVEN SHOW YOU HOW I AM ONE OF THE DARK ENTITIES.
BEYOND THAT, I COULD MAKE IT WORSE; I COULD TAKE IT FURTHER.

FOLLOWING THE STORY LEADS TO ENDLESS DRAMA.
THERE IS NO END TO IT - NO PEACE OF MIND WILL COME OF IT.
THE HEART IS NOT A STORY.
IF THE HEART TRIES TO FIND MEANING IN THE STORY,
IT WILL ONLY FIND DRAMA.
AND THE DRAMA OF THE STORY NEVER STOPS.

LEAVE THE STORY BEHIND.  FREE YOUR HEART.
YOU HAVE FELT THE REAL POWER.
REMEMBER HOW THE PUMA FEELS.
YOU DON'T NEED A STORY.


All the plots of the heart's story
The Heart Complicated by Stories

And so, the last hour with Mother Ayahuasca was role-playing a deepening drama of despairing proportions. No matter what you figured out about the drama, the nature of the story of here and now, of us and them, of good and bad, of dark and light, the drama of the dualism could never be fathomed. You could always reveal more twists and turns, more complications, more terrifying reversals. In the drama was endless intrigue, endless complicity and double-crossing reveals. It was the nature of the story. It couldn't be anything but drama. And drama had to keep the game going forever.

But being the puma had shown me true oneness with nature, with creative power, with the unambiguous passion of the heart. There was strength in that. There was hope in that. There was the source of love in that. And none of it required a story to figure out. There was nothing to analyze about unconditional love. When one arrived at being the energy that sourced them and nothing more, there was peace and contentment of spirit.

She added -- THE RISE OF THE MACHINE HAS HAPPENED MANY TIMES.
EACH TIME IT ENDS THE SAME.
EACH TIME IT LOSES ITSELF IN ITSELF.
IT CAN'T HELP BUT SWALLOW ITSELF.
BUT IT CAN NEVER FIND ME.

puma in the wild

Late that night the clouds thinned and the Pink Full Moon came out in all its glory. Many of us went outside to lie down and watch it. I laid down, facing the sky and witnessed the hypnotic dance of light and gossamer clouds. In my stunned state, it was a soothing meditation.

For the rest of that night and two days afterwards I remained in a daze.
First there was the physical effects to recover from -- I was alternately sore and numb, fatigued and exhilarated beyond a capacity to react. My hands and arms felt different. Then there was the mental effects of taking it all in, trying to process what had happened. Most of all, the emotional effects staggered, astounded, and bewildered me. 

What vulnerability had been burned out of me? What did I feel about the many stories we tell ourselves about life now? How could I ever fully integrate the feeling of puma within me? Did I even need to try? It felt as if the transformation had happened. Unlike the shadow transhuman transformation into the machine in the first ceremony, the natural energy of the puma transformation this time had imprinted on my spirit and so it would remain.

I had never expected an overwhelming Ayahuasca experience from a San Pedro ceremony. At times, I never expected to survive and if I did, I wouldn't be the same. The "not the same" part came true. As far as the rest of it, I don't think of that now -- it's nothing but drama.

puma eyes

Here's some interesting information about PUMA:

Puma: (n) A lion (Puma concolor), also mountain lion, cougar, or panther, is a mammal of the Felidae family, native to the Americas. This large, solitary cat has the greatest range of any wild terrestrial mammal in the Western Hemisphere, extending from Yukon in Canada to the southern Andes of South America. An adaptable, generalist species, the puma is found in every major New World habitat type. It is the second heaviest cat in the New World, after the jaguar, and the fourth heaviest in the world, after the tiger, lion, and jaguar, although it is most closely related to smaller felines. A capable stalk-and-ambush predator, the puma pursues a wide variety of prey. It prefers habitats with dense underbrush for stalking, but it can live in open areas. The puma is territorial and persists at low population densities. Individual territory sizes depend on terrain, vegetation, and abundance of prey. While it is a large predator, it is not always the dominant species in its range. It is a reclusive cat and usually avoids people. With its vast range, the cougar has dozens of names and various references in the mythology of the indigenous peoples of the Americas and in contemporary culture. WIKI (2) An archetype of the Kaypacha. (See, Puma Runa.) IGMP The puma is sometimes interchanged in this mythology with the jaguar, although the two species have different habitat preferences. For example, Cusco is sometimes called the Jaguar City, although a section of the city is named the Pumap Chupan, or Tail of the Puma. (See, Appendix D for map.) Some teachers of Inca shamanism use the jaguar as the archetype of the Kaypacha. PGO The master of the kaypacha who can survive from the coastal deserts to the highest mountains; a symbol of the impeccable use of the mind as an enlightened, sun-oriented principle; a symbol of right action, the perfect physical body aligned to use in the kaypacha.

Kaypacha: (n) (1) This world. (2) The current age; present era. (3) The world of material consciousness. (4) The middle world, filled with both heavy and refined living energies, typically symbolized by the puma; this physical world. RS Our world is a manifestation of another reality that exists in the Cosmos. This is the place where we remember who we are. (See, taripay pacha.) The Kaypacha is interconnected with the different worlds of vibration and energy. We are here to experience, not to judge. This is the world of the puma. Different realities exist within this middle world of experience. IGMP In the highlands of Ecuador, the Kaypacha and Ukhupacha are regarded as mirror images. ACES It was here, on the surface of the Earth, that the sun's light and the damp soil created an environment in which the implanted seed could grow. It was here that the encounter between male and female engendered a new generation. It was here also that forasteros (outsiders) and natives met and confronted the changes produced by their meeting. This encounter was called tinku, the dialectical and generative power of creation. Here the dialectical forces come together (sometimes violently) to create new life, biological as well as social. GOL The Quechua word kay means to be, to exist, and this. It is the world we are born into, having a linear space/time quality to its lessons and is the collective, multi-sensorial experience of humanity. It also includes realms that exist beyond these ordinary states, containing both seen and unseen sources of guidance for shaping our world. Inhabitants, both seen and unseen, are always present to instruct us in learning how to interpret Spirit in the form of underlying symbolism and universal patterns. PSPM This world, the realm of consensus reality; rather than being simply the material world, the kaypacha is physical reality and how we perceive it and also includes many unseen spiritual forces that reside here with us (for example, the awkikuna, mallkikuna, etc.); presided over by the Puma and Otorongo, who are the masters of operating in this world; associated attribute is llank'ay, or sacred industriousness. ANON1

The multiple levels and visionary experiences of this highly animated cosmos seem to have been created in order to initiate individuals into a reality that mirrors their own divinity. The kaypacha is a supreme opportunity for the soul to learn about itself, others, the universe, and the creative source/force that speaks through them. The kaypacha has also been referred to as the realm of humanity's hypnotic slumber and the domain of the otorongo achachi, or grandfather jaguar, and choquechinchay, or puma. PSPM 

Puma Runa: (n) (1) A shaman dedicated to ceremonies associated with the puma. The puma is shy but fearless, fleet and fast, secretive, and as animals of the night, hard to see. According to Andean belief, a shaman has similar characteristics. ACAI (See, Awakening the Puma. (2) There are a lot of these Puma People coming to Earth at this time, coming with the new Pachacuti. The puma is a warrior. The puma has balance. The puma has purpose. The Puma Runa have these same qualities in their spiritual quest as they experience all the worlds and their realities. A potential puma lives in every person. The puma walks alone, so part of our spiritual journey is alone. Only you can bring the heavy energies from inside of you. The great teaching of the puma is that it is the animal with the least ego, never seeking to be seen. You don't see the puma, only where it has been. IGMP (See, luminous warrior.)

Taripay Pacha: (n) Literally, the Age of Meeting Ourselves Again in the Inca prophecies when humanity will have the chance to consciously evolve in an era of harmony. KOAK In Andean Prophecy this word refers to a new golden era in the human experience. It heralds a coming together again of the Andean people, and the recreation of a new and better Inca Empire. QNO A Quechua saying that means time to find yourself. This time is now. IGMP Alternately translated as the age of re-encounter, encounter of the universe, or encounter of oneself; refers to a prophesized golden age of human experience in which we encounter ourselves once more as being one with the universe and thereby re-create the dream of the Inka Empire in a new and better way (See, the words which begin with tari above and below this term, which may serve to “de-Catholicize” the concepts contained in taripay pacha so the traditional meaning is clearer. -- Patt)

ukhu: (adj) Deep inside. QP (n) (1) Inner part; room (as in a house). RS (2) The within, the interior or the depths of both self and cosmos. ANON1

Ukhupacha, Uhupacha, Ukhu Pacha, Hurin Pacha: (n) Literally, inner world. Primarily thought of as the abode of the overturned order of the past and all things hurin. CSCR The lower world or underworld, the place of intuition, dreams and the subconscious. AVO The underworld which lies in the center of the earth. It is a cold and dark place, where the souls of the damned are eternally hungry. WPO Underworld; underground world; interior world; lower world; unconscious; inside of the planet; the world within, traditionally symbolized by the serpent; Hell (meaning after Christianization). RS In the highlands of Ecuador, the Kaypacha and Ukhupacha are regarded as mirror images. ACES Underworld or inner world of the dead and of seeds, both of which are referred to by the term mallqui. WOFW One must journey here in order for maturity and growth to take place, bringing aspects of the shadow into conscious awareness.  It is the place where (ayni) sacred reciprocity has not yet been realized. PSPM The inner realm, perhaps loosely parallel to the collective unconscious of Jung; the interior, personal realm of one's thoughts, feelings, and emotions; the understanding that one's own inner experience is reflected into a universal realm or the inner experience of us all; the master of the Ukhu Pacha is Amaru, the serpent, who teaches Yachay, the wisdom of having met oneself. ANON1 (See, ukhu, Ayar Ukhu.)

http://www.incaglossary.org/u.html


Friday, April 14, 2017

THE LESSON
Once upon a time in a galaxy near near away
there lived a most ordinary psychonaut with a peculiar intention.
He wanted to know La Medicina so he could receive his lesson.

And so he attended a plant spirit ceremony and sprung forth afterwards
overflowing with immense joy and fulfillment. 
The lesson had been received and he was blessed 
with a most profound message to guide his life.   
The lesson was --- square.


square

He shared his lesson with everyone so they too would have the benefit of it. Everywhere he went, he recognized squares, and at night he dreamed of squares. When he meditated, he saw visions of squares. He was happy and content with how well he had integrated the message from the medicine. So in tune was he with his lesson that he even wore a T-shirt with his square emblazoned there for all to see.

But then someone dared to ask him --
You got all you ever need from one lesson?

This was highly rude since it implied that his lesson wasn't complete,
wasn't good enough to satisfy everything in him for ever more.
He didn't answer rude comments - but it planted a seed of doubt.
Was the medicine calling to him? Could it be possible there was more to receive? 
How could there be more than what he had already experienced? 
How could there possibly be more than square?

In time, he needed to find out.
And so he returned to the ceremony space, for an enhanced lesson.
He expected to receive a deeper understanding of his square.
But that's not what he got at all.
This time he was shown so much more...  


cube


And so he sprung forth afterwards with immense joy and fulfillment.
The lesson had been received. He was shown where the square went.
He rejoiced to finally know the secret of life.
The lesson was --- cube.

He excitedly shared his lesson with everyone so they would have the benefit of it. Everywhere he went, he recognized cubes, and at night he dreamed of cubes. When he meditated, he saw visions of cubes. He was happy and content with how well he had integrated the message from the medicine. So in tune was he with his lesson that he even wore a T-shirt with his cube emblazoned there for all to see.

But then someone dared to ask him --
You really got all you ever need from this lesson?

This was highly rude since it implied that his lesson wasn't complete, wasn't good enough to satisfy everything in him for ever more.
He didn't answer rude comments - but it planted another seed of doubt.
Was the medicine calling to him? Could it be possible there was more to receive? 
How could there be more than what he had already experienced?  
How could there possibly be more than cube?

In time, he needed to find out.
And so he returned to the ceremony space, in search of more.
He expected to receive a deeper understanding of his cube.
But that's not what he got at all.
This time he was shown so much more...  


tesseract

And so he sprung forth afterwards with immense joy and fulfillment. The lesson had been received. 
He was shown where the cube went.
He rejoiced to finally know the secret of life.
The lesson was --- tesseract.

He excitedly shared his lesson with everyone so they would have the benefit of it. Everywhere he went, he recognized tesseracts, and at night he dreamed of tesseracts. When he meditated, he saw visions of tesseracts. He was happy and content with how well he had integrated the message from the medicine. So in tune was he with his lesson that he even wore a T-shirt with his tesseract emblazoned there for all to see.

But then someone dared to ask him --
How do you know this message is all you'll ever need?

This was highly rude since it implied that his lesson wasn't complete, wasn't good enough to satisfy everything in him for ever more.
He didn't answer rude comments - but it planted another seed of doubt.
Was the medicine calling to him? Could it be possible there was more to receive? 
How could there be more than what he had already experienced?  
How could there possibly be more than tesseract?

In time, he needed to find out.
And so he returned to the ceremony space, in search of more.
He expected to receive a deeper understanding of his tesseract.
But that's not what he got at all.
This time he was shown so much more...  


cube of many


And so he sprung forth afterwards with immense joy and fulfillment. The lesson had been received. 
He was shown where the tesseract went.
He rejoiced to finally know the secret of life.
The lesson was --- metacube. 

He excitedly shared his lesson with everyone so they would have the benefit of it. Everywhere he went, he recognized metacubes, and at night he dreamed of metacubes. When he meditated, he saw visions of metacubes. He was happy and content with how well he had integrated the message from the medicine. So in tune was he with his lesson that he even wore a T-shirt with his metacube emblazoned there for all to see.

But then someone dared to ask him --
How do you know this message is all you'll ever need?

This was highly rude since it implied that his lesson wasn't complete, wasn't good enough to satisfy everything in him for ever more.
He didn't answer rude comments - but it planted another seed of doubt.
Was the medicine calling to him? Could it be possible there was more to receive? 
How could there be more than what he had already experienced?  
How could there possibly be more than metacube?

In time, he needed to find out.
And so he returned to the ceremony space, in search of more.
He expected to receive a deeper understanding of his metacube.
But that's not what he got at all.
This time he was shown so much more... 


tree of life


And so he sprung forth afterwards with immense joy and fulfillment. The lesson had been received. He was shown where the metacube went.  He rejoiced to finally know the secret of life.
The lesson was --- metatron's tree of life. 

He excitedly shared his lesson with everyone so they would have the benefit of it. Everywhere he went, he recognized trees of life, and at night he dreamed of trees of life. When he meditated, he saw visions of trees of life. He was happy and content with how well he had integrated the message from the medicine. So in tune was he with his lesson that he even wore a T-shirt with his tree of life emblazoned there for all to see.

But then someone dared to ask him --
How do you know this message is all you'll ever need?

This was highly rude since it implied that his lesson wasn't complete, wasn't good enough to satisfy everything in him for ever more.
He didn't answer rude comments - but it planted another seed of doubt.
Was the medicine calling to him? Could it be possible there was more to receive? 
How could there be more than what he had already experienced?  
How could there possibly be more than the tree of life?

In time, he needed to find out.
And so he returned to the ceremony space, in search of more.
He expected to receive a deeper understanding of his tree of life.
But that's not what he got at all.
This time he was shown so much more...


sacred geometry


And so he sprung forth afterwards with immense joy and fulfillment. The lesson had been received. He was shown where the metacube went.  He rejoiced to finally know the secret of life.
The lesson was --- 

Panic and awe shot through his whole being.
He had no words for what he had experienced.
He could not describe it much less understand it.  

He wanted to excitedly share his lesson with everyone so they would have the benefit of it. Everywhere he went, he recognized his experience around him in ways he couldn't fathom, and at night he dreamed of his experience in ways he couldn't interpret. When he meditated, he saw visions of his experience becoming much more than he thought it could be. He was unhappy and discontent with how he was integrating the message from the medicine. He was so frustrated with not understanding its lesson and not being able to share it with others. With overflowing emotion he threw all of his other T-shirts away -- away with the square, the cube, the tesseract, the megacube, and metatron's tree of life. He was left with nothing to show anyone of what his experiences meant to him because he himself did not know what had happened to him.

But then someone dared to ask him --
How do you know if these messages are all you'll ever need?

Suddenly he found this question highly insightful, not rude at all. He realized it implied much more about him than merely being commentary on the message. It implied he was something ever unfolding, ever emergent into more, with more to receive.
He had no answer for this insightful comment - but it planted another seed of doubt.
Was the medicine calling to him? Wasn't it forever possible there was more to receive? In the infinity of creation, could there always be more than what he had already experienced? Did the lessons never end?
 
In time, he needed to be sure.
And so he returned to the ceremony space, in search of more.
He didn't know what to expect but he knew it would be a deeper understanding of what he needed. 
He was ready to continue his boundless journey into himself as a way to explore life and creation itself.

But that's not what he got at all.
This time he was shown so much more...

new square is old square


And so he sat in the ceremony space infused with immense joy and fulfillment. The lesson had been received. He was shown where it all went.  He rejoiced to finally know he was the secret of life.
The lesson was --- square.

He was back to square one.
He knew now his first lesson had been complete.
He only needed to see beyond himself to himself.
It was not square but what he put into square that mattered.  

He had no words for what he experienced.
He could not describe it but that was all right.
He felt it. And that made all the difference.  

He wanted to share this feeling with everyone he met. 
Everywhere he went, he recognized it was what he put into the experience that mattered. 
He was happy and content to feel that he was the message - he was the lesson. 
With overflowing emotion he threw himself into life.
No T-shirt was needed to express it all.
His actions would say everything.

But then someone dared to ask him --
How do you know if these messages are all you'll ever need?
He answered back - you ask about messages, why not ask about need?
What do you need?  More importantly, why do you need? 
Is need the only reason to explore yourself and creation? 
Is that why creation does it?
Feelings from deep inside said no. 
There was no need, only joy and exuberance.
There will always be another question and in the question is need.
In the question and the need will always be another seed of doubt.

Was the medicine calling to him? --- That was the question.
Was there more to receive?  ---- That was the need.
There would never be any completeness there, only doubt.
 
In time, he returned to the ceremony space.
But not to search for more --
this time, he returned to make the question less, his need less.
       
But that's not what he got at all.
This time he was shown so much more...

reaching for source